While I was pregnant, I decided I was going to breastfeed my son no matter what. I actually was so worried about him latching when they first handed him to me that I kind of missed the moment of taking in the new life before me. I desperately wanted to breastfeed my child and was so worried I would be a breastfeeding failure.
It took almost three days before my son finally latched and started to breastfeed successfully. I still remember the excitement in the moment of him latching and actually sucking. I thought we were finally going to make it and everything would be a piece of cake heading forward. But then a few weeks after we got home I started to focus on feeding times and schedules and, try as I might, all I saw was a big fat F.
Breastfeeding Failure?
He was eating for well longer than 10-15 minutes per side. Fail.
He was eating at more like 2 hours, not 3. Fail.
He was not doing this or that. Fail.
Before he arrived I had worried about low milk supply or any of the multiple issues that can sprout up with a new mom learning to breastfeed her child. After he was here and none of those issues existed, I was putting extreme pressure on myself to meet goals made up by doctors and felt an overwhelming sense of breastfeeding failure with each milestone I missed.
It took awhile, but finally I realized each baby is different. Each situation is different. Guidelines are put in place to help you and are not something that you must demand for your child to meet. If you are planning on breastfeeding your child, the best advice I can give you is to enjoy each moment and take cues from your baby and your gut. You are a better mother than you realize.
Soon, breastfeeding will not be a daunting task and will take way less time. You will get there. Give yourself grace and time. You and your new baby will figure it out.
Hi I’m Amanda! I am a former Air Force member who has transitioned to being a stay-at-home mom and Air Force wife. My husband and I met in college in our military training program. Since then, we have lived in New Mexico and Ohio and now California. Our son joined our family in the summer of 2013. I blog at Airman2Mom with stories incorporating life experience from motherhood and daily life, while occasionally throwing in my past letters home from my Afghanistan deployment. My goal is to inspire others on their life journey and hopefully find some encouragement along the way. I love making new friends and would be honored if you followed my blog, like my Facebook page and follow me on Twitter.
This is a great post. I think it is very sad how our culture tries to make women feel so insecure about breastfeeding. It is such superior nutrition for babies, and yet so many women quit because they think they can’t produce enough. It is so great that you pushed through the insecurity and gave your baby a healthy start.
Amen! It’s so important to not stress out! I think it took my first one about a week to figure it out. Once I relaxed, things got a lot easier!
Love the line of “you are a better mother than you realize.” Everyone should stop being so hard on themselves…being a mom is hard work!
I had trouble with this, too, but it all turned out well. My children are 30’s and 40’s now. Looking back now, breastfeeding was the least of my problems. Even if you cannot breastfeed, for whatever reason, take heart young mamas, be thankful for other methods of feeding your baby. Do your best and focus on all the other things you provide for your baby. TLC is the main thing, whether you’re breastfeeding or bottlefeeding.
There is way too much pressure put on mothers to breast feed. You are so right…everyone is different and needs to trust their own instinct rather than feel pressured by “the norm”.