As a mother I often see articles pop up on my Facebook newsfeed. As a nursing mother, I pay special attention to those about breastfeeding. One day I was reading an article about a woman who was approached and asked to stop nursing in public. The question about what my husband, Richard, would do if I were in that situation entered my mind. It then dawned on me that we never discussed his feelings on nursing in public or if it makes him uncomfortable! In fact we never discussed if I would formula feed or breastfeed in general, I just did it. So I found myself curious and decided to ask his thoughts on the matter. Here is one man’s perspective on breastfeeding:
A Man’s Perspective on Breastfeeding
Me: When you found out we were expecting, did you have a preference with breastfeeding vs. formula feeding?
Him: Well, when I found out we were expecting it wasn’t my main concern. It’s not something I ever really thought about. After doing some research and talking to you, I saw the benefits of breastfeeding outweighed formula feeding. It also cost a lot less.
Me: Would you have been upset if I had decided I didn’t want to breastfeed?
Him: No, because really it has nothing to do with me. It’s your body and really up to you what you want to do with it. I would have supported whatever you wanted to do.
Me: In the early stages did you ever feel left out because you couldn’t help with a feeding?
Him: I felt like it was hard for me to help in certain incidents because I can’t breastfeed. I guess I felt like I couldn’t help. As far as bonding, breastfeeding and bonding seems more like a woman thing. I don’t feel more or less bonded to the girls when I give them a bottle.
Me: For convenience, we decided to use bottles of pumped breast milk on occasion. What are your thoughts on pumping?
Him: I think pumping is good because it benefits the mother. It allows other people to help with a feeding or when we are out or in the car.
Me: When I breastfeed in public, does it ever bother you?
Him: No.
Me: Do you have a preference on a cover or no cover?
Him: If you don’t have a cover there is nothing you can do, but there are ways to not expose yourself and still not use a cover.
Me: If someone ever approached me while breastfeeding in public and told me to go to a bathroom, cover up, stop, etc., what would you do?
Him: I would tell them there is a law protecting your rights and if they don’t like it they should leave.
Me: Do you ever look at other women nursing in public? Does it make you uncomfortable?
Him: I notice them, I don’t stare. It only makes me uncomfortable if I’m talking to them and they aren’t using a cover because I feel like I’m making them uncomfortable.
Me: Sometimes breastfeeding can get messy. If breast milk soaks through my shirt or leaks milk when we get intimate does it bother you?
Him: No.
Me: Do you think formula feeding would be easier?
Him: No.
I know my husband, and I knew if I was doing something he was against he would have discussed it with me – but I’m glad I asked him his thoughts. Are these the views of every man out there? Of course not, but it’s nice to get an insight into at least one male brain on occasion.
Richard may be a man of few words on the topic of breastfeeding but above all he seems to just want what is best for our girls and myself – and for that I am grateful:
“Whatever method of feeding you choose a husband should support his wife and help her in any way he can. That is his job, to make the hard stuff we can’t do easier on her.”
Does your man’s perspective on breastfeeding line up with yours? Is it challenging to discuss with him your thoughts on this issue?
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Brittany is the mother to two beautiful girls, Sophia and Harper. She and her hubby reside in the Sunshine State. Brittany writes at Truly Fit Mom.
My guy’s opinion is pretty much the same as yours
Husband here. My wife is currently pregnant with our first child. I, like your husband would never tell her what I do with her body. But deep down – I really hope she pumps because I want to be taking care of as many feedings as possible.
I read a lot of articles about how I can bond with baby during diaper changes and by cleaning the house for my wife. And of course I will do these things because it will help my household run smoothly. But placating me – telling me that diaper changes and house cleaning will help me and my child form the kind of bond my wife will have, the kind of bond she already has – before he is even born – feels extremely condescending.