Our Breast Advice: Breastfeeding seems too sexual to me, how can I get over it?

Breastfeeding Question:

“I am 32 weeks pregnant and have fully decided not to breastfeed. My husband is beginning to really push for it. I have no desire to breastfeed. It seems uncomfortable and awkward for myself. I cannot imagine a child sucking on my breast to be a positive experience. To me, it just seems so sexual. I do not know how I would ever enjoy doing this for my baby. Any advice?”

Answers:

Jennifer says…

It is definitely difficult to comprehend what the breastfeeding experience will look like. It is different from woman to woman and even from child to child. Some women enjoy it, others struggle through, while others choose a different route altogether.

What helped me while I was pregnant was to research what I could expect and to be prepared as much as possible. I decided to at least give it a try—learning how beneficial it was for my child (and even for me!) I figured there might be something to this and that I would attempt it. It certainly was not easy (but then again, very rarely is there anything about a new baby that is easy). I grew to love it and 20 months later neither of us is ready to be done!

Audra says…

I felt the same way! While I had decided to breastfeed for all the benefits, I was terrified of the actual experience. I am physically sensitive to begin with and just could not imagine the breastfeeding experience to be anything more than awkwardness and even painful torture. Thankfully, my actual experience was much different and I have since nursed 3 babies for a total of 47 months and counting.

You see, I had not seen anyone breastfeed on a regular basis. I had only heard the negative things about the experience. The reality is much different. I encourage you to arm yourself with information: you may be surprised with your instincts once you give birth. Go to a local La Leche League meeting or talk with a lactation consultant.

As for breastfeeding feeling sexual, because of our physiology, it does not. When baby is latched on, the nipple extends to the back of baby’s throat. I was afraid that I would feel baby licking or something like that, however that was not the case. The sensitive parts are not near the front of the tongue at all.

Keep asking questions and learning so you will be prepared for whatever decision is right for you when the time comes. We are here for you!

Randi Says…

Where I didn’t have your same feelings the first time around with my daughter, I totally had these feelings when it came to nursing my son. Why did I feel different, I will never know, but there was just something “weird” to me about breastfeeding a boy. Looking back, it was a completely and udderly (pun intended) ridiculous. Once that red headed monster was in my arms, there was no question that I would breastfeed him.

So for your feelings, if after you give birth, you still feel awkward about it, then just don’t. The thing with breastfeeding (in my un-professional opinion) is that if you aren’t comfortable with it, you won’t be successful with it. Stay true to your feelings and don’t let people pressure you because you then start building feelings of resentment.

If you think that pumping would be different, I would totally invest in a pump and go that route. But I will tell you, I know it might sound cray cray, but there is something that happens after your baby is born (at least it did with me) and all feelings I had regarding the sexual nature of breastfeeding all flew out of my head the second he was born.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and for the chance to find peace with whatever you decide!

And come back, tell us how it all went!